Your Movie Blows Fucker!

Okay fuckers and fuckettes The Wolf here, now who doesn't like a good movie, and not some pussy life sucking abomination that makes you want to perform a frontal lobotomy on yourself. (Oh you mean like this piece of assfuck movie?I was almost forced to gouge out my own eyeballs just to put me out of my misery!)I'm talking real movies not fucking chick flicks and other soft ass shit. Now there are lots of great movies out there such as The Good The Bad and The Ugly, or Commando(doesn't commando mean you don't wear panties? Who knew you could be so fucking cool?), but my personnel favorite is ROBOCOP (my gag reflex just kicked in!). Why Robocop you ask......because it fucking kicks ass that's why, do you honestly need another reason then that. (Quit blowing smoke up my ass, no matter how many times you SAY it... the movie still sucks balls!)

Now in case you haven't seen this gem of a movie here's the basic idea of the story (consider yourself fucking LUCKY if you've never been subjected to this eye bleeding torture). A new cop on his first day on the job (Peter Weller) who gets shot to shit by a gang of thugs led by the guy who played the grumpy dad from That 70's show. (Kurtwood Smith) With the magic of late 80's technology he's brought back as a kick ass fucking cyborg that eats baby food, and shoots the fuck out of truck loads of criminals, and a corrupt business leader of the company that brought him back to life. (God help me, I may die of sheer fucking assclown- ism.)

Is this movie cheesy, fucking eh it is, but it's got everything a good movie needs;

1. Tons of people get shot all to shit (like this makes it worth a shit)

2. Hookers and blow and corporate decay oh my (and CB shoving toothpicks under her nails for entertainment)

3. Robots and cyborgs (yes there is a difference fuckers, robots are machines, and cyborgs are half machine fuckers) (It's incredibly sad and pathetic that you can explain the difference)

4. Oh and some turd eats a huge fucking container of toxic waste and then gets hit by a car IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS. (Uuuum yeah... sounds badass.)

Yeah so if you don't own this fucking classic GET THE FUCK OUT THERE AND BUY IT....... (not even if I got it for free fucktard) it's pretty cheap buy the way so it's a deal. Here's a short clip in case you need more proof of this movies awesomeness.

What the shit was that???? CB here fucksticks. Holy ballsack. Kill me now!! I'd rather go to the dentist for a fucking root canal than ever see that shit again. (I'll get you some pliers CB)

I'd like to introduce everyone to one of MY favorite fucking movies of ALL time. I've seen it 5,000 times since I was 5. Think I'm kidding fuckers? I'm not. (I'm surprised you'd pick this one I thought It was going to be Debbie Does Dallas)

If you're an assbag whore that has never seen this movie, then let me school your asses. (Consider yourself lucky cause this movie is nothing but a glorified cock tease)

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark... I wanted to grow up to be just like her! I know... I came damn close right? She's a badass bitch, with a knife in her dress(it may be fake but it looks fucking awesome, a take no shit attitude who drives a classic (some kind of car, how the fuck should I know what it is?) black convertible with leopard interior and a spider web grill. Shyyyea I know... It doesn't get better than that! (It's a fucking hearse, you know what they transport dead people in to their funeral......She's you're idol and you don't know this, fuck CB you're slipping. She does have a nice rack though)She kicks the shit out of this tiny podunk town when she goes to claim her inheritance from her beloved aunt Morgana. She rocks that shit... well like-only I can. I learn from the best dickholes! By the end of the movie, she has rocked a replication of flash dance (but her's is in a black leather skin tight number) causes an orgy and the town picnic and kills her uncle after he tries to steal the family spell book. (Wait until you see how she kills the fucker!!! That's how I take fuckers out! Its down below!!) (Oh fuck me, there's only two things that are interesting about this movie and that's Elvira's T&A and no it's not talent and acting ability)

This is a goddamn necessity to see before you die. If not for yourself at least get it for the kids damnit! Think of CB while you watch it!!!! (I watched this as a kid thinking it was some sort of porn........needless to say I was disappointed do yourself a favour at the video store and leave it to collect some more fucking dust on the shelf beside such shit as Surf Ninjas and Time of the Apes)


  1. Rumors of a new Elvira coming to TV, and new remake of Robocop.
    Debbie Does Dallas I've seen it in all it's hairy scary.
    You may now pull your teeth out of your head.

  2. I heard there's suppose to be a redux of Robocop coming fall this year. Fuck Elvira's got to be in her 60's now.

  3. Actually, I met her once,and she was pretty cool.
    She was a burn victim when she was a kid,and her costume hides it well .
    I'd still do her.
    She looks pretty hot even as a old red head.

    I am hoping for a new Robocop.

  4. Go and watch Cop Out.

    "I can knit the fuck out of a nice big sweater!"

  5. @ Max Evel yeah she's still got it going on, I didn't know about her being a burn victim though.

    I'm kinda on the fence about a new Robocop redeux, number 3 was shit and the T.V series that followed a couple years later was even worse. I hope they have a good director working on it.

    @ A Daft Scots Lass I saw that last week as well as The Losers pretty good movies.

  6. Gaaaaahhhh. Thought I was the only one who opened gates that way!

  7. I've never seen those movies. I grew up with Disney Princesses movies. See how nice and sweet I turned out?

    Okay, someone's gotta agree with me or else...

  8. Oh. Dear. Lord. Help us all now.

    Elvira...my dad's true love of boobies. Robocop...it's just that...robotic acting. IKES. I'd rather watch paint dry.

  9. I have to say I liked both of those movies. Robocop even more, though, because of the action and better acting. The Elvira flick was good because of her boobs and the rest of her wank-worthy figure. The best way to enjoy the Elvira flick is by muting the sound and having some beer... or something. Robocop is a classic. I hope the latest version won't be a shitty ordeal to sit through. It would be a shame.

  10. Oh holy hell on a shit biscuit! See me? I'm the bitch over here in the corner of the room sipping a cocktail and pretending that I don't know either of you! I refuse to admit that I've seen (let alone enjoyed) either of those movies.

    This is just sad!

    As far as Elvira goes... no surprise that bitch is crazy... she's a born Kansan!

  11. I have to admit Robocop definitely has my vote for the best film of the 1900s. Good call Wolf. BTW...Elvira is a close second.

  12. Teehee. Loved Elvira as a kid. Robocop sucked then and still sucks now.